One of the most intriguing aspects of our life is the discovery of purpose. Varying from culture to culture, our life’s purpose ultimately determines every aspect of ourselves. From the decisions we make to the emotions we feel to our concept of success.

Though not all will come out and say it, many have made their life purpose to become famous. A concept that isn’t necessarily new, but has modern dilemmas we hadn’t seen in prior generations – namely, due to the advent of social media.

The Drive for Attention

Most psychologists have pinpointed motivation to be directly linked to money and power. ¹ ² However, in the modern era, fame has garnered even more attention. ³ Even when it’s not connected to money or power.

When someone seeks fame, it can be argued they’re seeking social acceptance. More so, to be highly received by a large assortment of strangers. Inevitably, this kind of life motive can lead to powerful convictions.

In the words of Orville Gilbert Brim, a psychologist and author of the book, The Fame Motive, “[Desiring fame is] like belief in the afterlife in medieval communities, where people couldn’t wait to die and go on to a better life. That’s how strong it is.”

Though this phenomenon may only seem prominent in Western countries, it’s observed throughout many cultures. Take rural Hindu villages in India as an example. A widow is expected to be continuously sad during the time of their loved one’s loss. So much so that they are expected to dress differently, change their appetites, and even reverse their habits. ⁴

These widows essentially compete to be the purest and often compare themselves to one another in this regard. Though this may seem strange from our perspective, it’s extremely similar to someone desiring fame. A person who anticipates becoming famous will naturally change their habits, dress differently, and may only eat certain foods (to get a proper physique).

These anticipations are generally based off of what’s trending during that time. As Tim Kasser, a psychologist at Knox College, told the New York Times, “It’s a distinct type, people who expect to get meaning out of fame, who believe the only way to have their lives make sense is to be famous. We all need to make meaning out of our lives, and this is one way people attempt to do it.”

The Psychology of Fame

Psychologists have observed that many people who seek out fame tend to have emotionally and physically absent parents. ⁵ Of course, this isn’t the case for everyone. However, it is one that’s been observed over and over again.

Erik Erikson, a celebrated psychoanalyst, is a prime example of this observation. His daughter, Sue Erikson Bloland, discusses in her memoir, In the Shadow of Fame, how his constant pursuit of attention was partly a factor of his feelings of abandonment – he never met his biological father.

Though Erik Erikson had a charisma many desired more of, Sue writes in her memoir: “His pursuit of reassurance was not simply the charming humility it was generally interpreted to be. It expressed a persistent and tormenting self-doubt.”

Still, a sense of parental abandonment is only part of a larger, more complicated phenomenon. Some psychologists have also observed people’s fixations with mortality. When approached about the idea of their own death, many people will begin to determine how they’ll be remembered. ⁶ And many of those who want to be famous consider this concept vital to their overall self-worth.

Jeffrey Greenberg, a psychologist at the University of Arizona, also told the New York Times:

“Given this awareness of our mortality, to function securely, we need to feel somehow protected from this existential predicament, to feel like we are more than just material animals fated only to obliteration upon death. We accomplish that by trying to view ourselves as enduringly valuable contributors to a meaningful world. And the more others validate our value, the more special and therefore secure we feel.”

The Struggle of an Unrealized Ambition

It’s no secret that reaching notoriety is slim to none for most of us. Yet, that doesn’t stop people from pursuing fame at all costs. And this perseverance often leads to a struggle that can detriment one’s psychology.

In a study published in 1996 by Richard M. Ryan of the University of Rochester, 100 adults were asked about their life’s goals and motivations. Those who mentioned anything that had to do with other’s approval (such as fame) had remarkably increased levels of distress compared to those solely seeking self-acceptance and meaningful friendships. ⁷

Thinking you’ll make it and coming out without fame may be one of the most treacherous things you can do to your psychology. Consider what happens to a person of this state of mind who reaches their elder years. For some, they continue to hold onto those youthful ambitions.

As Dr. Brim, an 83-year-old researcher, suggests in the New York Times, “I concluded that several things could happen, and one of them is to find another source of approval. That might be a great love, if you’re lucky. Or perhaps it is a deepening belief in God. But I think many people suffer with the realization that they are not going to be famous and there’s nothing they can do to solve it.”

The Modern Dilemma

One of the biggest issues of today’s society is that fame seems extremely obtainable. No longer does one have to seek out an agency or attend public events to get their name out there. Now fame can be as simple as uploading a video that happens to go viral.

There is no doubt that social media is fueling the fire of the psychological damage that fame-seeking comes with. People see thousands of “normal people” find their rise on the internet and feel as though there’s no reason they shouldn’t have their chance. A dilemma of social media comparison. ⁸

The big issue with this is the same as with Hollywood celebrities. By looking solely at other’s successes, you’re not seeing the thousands of others who have attempted and failed. You continue to hold up the belief that the projection of fame is easily obtainable. And the internet is merely a new source for this projection.

So, What Can We Do?

The psychological dilemma of seeking fame comes down to the individual. Still, we don’t want you to get the wrong idea. Feeling motivated to reach your goals is one of the greatest ways to fulfill a life’s purpose. However, if your goal has anything to do with fame, it’s worth considering what the fulfillment of that goal looks like without fame.

For example, let’s say you’re an extremely talented singer with dreams of one day performing in a stadium filled with thousands. We aren’t saying you shouldn’t pursue singing. Rather, how you can pursue singing in ways that don’t ultimately lead to fame. In ways where your talent still has a purpose.

Discovering your purpose beyond the acceptance of others is to find the true uniqueness of your abilities. It’s to discover what self-acceptance truly is.

References

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² Guinote A. How Power Affects People: Activating, Wanting, and Goal Seeking. Annu Rev Psychol. 2017 Jan 3;68:353-381. doi: 10.1146/annurev-psych-010416-044153. Epub 2016 Sep 21. PMID: 27687123.

³ Maltby J, Day L, Giles D, Gillett R, Quick M, Langcaster-James H, Linley PA. Implicit theories of a desire for fame. Br J Psychol. 2008 May;99(Pt 2):279-92. doi: 10.1348/000712607X226935. Epub 2007 Jul 13. PMID: 17637166.

⁴ Sharma I, Pandit B, Pathak A, Sharma R. Hinduism, marriage and mental illness. Indian J Psychiatry. 2013 Jan;55(Suppl 2):S243-9. doi: 10.4103/0019-5545.105544. PMID: 23858262; PMCID: PMC3705690.

⁵ McLanahan S, Tach L, Schneider D. The Causal Effects of Father Absence. Annu Rev Sociol. 2013 Jul;39:399-427. doi: 10.1146/annurev-soc-071312-145704. PMID: 24489431; PMCID: PMC3904543.

⁶ Pao M, Mahoney MR. “Will You Remember Me?”: Talking with Adolescents About Death and Dying. Child Adolesc Psychiatr Clin N Am. 2018 Oct;27(4):511-526. doi: 10.1016/j.chc.2018.05.001. Epub 2018 Jul 31. PMID: 30219214; PMCID: PMC11086521.

⁷ Kasser, T., & Ryan, R. M. (1996). Further Examining the American Dream: Differential Correlates of Intrinsic and Extrinsic Goals. Personality and Social Psychology Bulletin, 22(3), 280-287. https://doi.org/10.1177/0146167296223006

⁸ Andrade FC, Erwin S, Burnell K, Jackson J, Storch M, Nicholas J, Zucker N. Intervening on Social Comparisons on Social Media: Electronic Daily Diary Pilot Study. JMIR Ment Health. 2023 Apr 28;10:e42024. doi: 10.2196/42024. PMID: 37115607; PMCID: PMC10182465.