Borderline personality disorder (BPD) is a mental health condition that affects how you manage various emotions and thoughts. While symptoms have a wide range, most struggle with abandonment issues, low self-esteem, and self-harm. In turn, many seek out how to self-manage borderline personality disorder without the help of medical professionals.

Admittedly, it’s difficult to develop BPD coping skills on your own. Medical professionals can help give you the tools to manage symptoms and go on to live a fulfilling life. Throughout this article, we’ll take a deeper look at BPD and what you can do to self-manage the condition.

What is Borderline Personality Disorder?

Borderline personality disorder (BPD) is a condition that displays ongoing patterns of different moods, self-images, and behaviors. It can result in impulsive conduct and cause problems in relationships. Furthermore, people with BPD tend to struggle with other mental illnesses, such as anxiety and depression. ¹

Symptoms of BPD tend to involve mood swings and uncertainty. The most common include:

• Chronic emptiness
• Efforts to avoid abandonment (whether real or imagined)
• Feelings of dissociation
• Impulsive and dangerous behaviors (i.e. unsafe sex, substance abuse)
• Intense and unstable relationships (with family, friends, and significant others)
• Lack of trust in others (creating irrational fears)
• Self-harming or suicidal behavior
• Severe and very highly changeable moods (BPD episodes)
• Unstable sense of self or self-image

While most people with BPD will only experience a handful of these symptoms, they tend to be so intense that they have full control over a person’s life.

What Causes BPD?

Scientists still struggle to understand the exact causes of BPD. However, they do believe those with the following are at a higher risk:

• Brain Function – Studies reveal that those with BPD have structural and functional changes in the brain. Most notably, in areas responsible for impulses and emotional regulation. ²

• Environment – Many with BPD have reported previous traumatic experiences that led to their condition, such as childhood abuse, abandonment, or adversity. ³

• Genetics – If a close family member (i.e. parent, sibling) struggles with BPD, you’re at a higher risk of developing it. ⁴

Furthermore, some people without these risk factors may still develop BPD at some point in their lives.

How to Self-Manage Borderline Personality Disorder

To self-manage BPD, it’s key for someone to get the right treatment and support. This will make it easier to develop self-help strategies that can assist in coping with symptoms.

While we discuss our self-managing tips, you should know that these won’t work for everyone. With that, you may need to experiment before finding the right management tactics.

1.) Practice Mindfulness

With mental health, it’s sometimes better for people to be “in the moment.” This is especially true for people with BPD who tend to become absorbed with their past and anxious over their future.

While more research is necessary, it’s believed mindfulness may help to alleviate symptoms of suicidal ideation, self-harm, impression management, and substance abuse. ⁵

Certain practices, such as meditation and yoga, can help one achieve mindfulness. However, some people find other activities more beneficial, such as coloring or practicing certain therapies.

Most notably, dialectical behavior therapy (DBT) may be most beneficial for BPD. DBT is a cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT) where you learn to live in the moment and develop healthy ways to deal with stress, emotional regulations, and relationship improvements. ⁶

2.) Develop the Right BPD Coping Skills

If you can identify triggers that lead to a BPD episode, you may be able to also develop coping skills. Again, these will look different for everyone. However, some common BPD coping skills include:

• Breathing exercises that allow you to relax, ground yourself, and process emotions. ⁷

• Engage in activities that help distract you, such as taking a walk, cleaning, or spending time with others.

• Ride out your BPD episode before allowing symptoms to engage you in harmful activities.

• Support others even in small gestures to help reduce emotional pain and connect with the outside world.

To find the right coping skills, we highly recommend doing further research on what activities may help with your BPD.

3.) Distract Yourself

According to research, most people with BPD are susceptible to distractions, especially during social cues. ⁸ So, why not take advantage of this personality trait and use it when you need distractions most?

When you find yourself in pain or experiencing difficult situations due to your BPD, it may be in your interest to simply find something else to do. This may include:

• Finishing work you’ve been holding off
• Participating in your favorite hobby
• Writing down your emotions

Admittedly, distractions may not be the easiest route. You may find it difficult to take your mind off your emotions. However, with practice and dedication, you’re bound to find ways to distract yourself from BPD episodes.

4.) Take Care of Your Physical Health

Did you know your mental health is connected to your physical health? Scientists recently discovered the gut-brain axis, an interaction between your gut’s microbiome and nervous system. ⁹

In other words, what we take into our bodies can affect our moods, emotions, and behavior. For this reason, it may be in your interest to find diets that are best suited for people with BPD. ¹⁰

Furthermore, you may want to take supplements for BPD, including:

• Cacao (chocolate)
• Magnesium
• Omega-3 fatty acids
• Vitamin C
• Vitamin D

Beyond what we take in, it can also help to make better lifestyle changes. While this looks different for everyone, some include quitting drugs and alcohol or exercising more regularly.

5.) Find Support

If you’re not already enrolled in a BPD treatment program, this may be the first step you need to take to self-manage symptoms. With professional treatment, you’ll be given the tools necessary to overcome BPD episodes and have the opportunity to better understand your condition.

Furthermore, several online support groups are available to discuss your struggles with others. These include Facebook pages, blogs, and other communities.

However, you may benefit more from in-person meetings where you can sit face-to-face with others also struggling with BPD. A quick Google search should direct you to groups in your area.

It’s rare to come across people who can say “I cured my borderline personality disorder.” Still, that isn’t to say there aren’t others out there who are willing to lend you a hand and help you move past BPD symptoms.

Final Word

Self-managing BPD isn’t easy. In fact, BPD is one of the most complicated and misunderstood mental illnesses out there. Still, you can overcome symptoms with the right treatment and coping techniques.

We highly recommend seeking professional help before trying to treat this condition yourself. With medical attention, you’ll be given everything you need to know how to stop a BPD episode.

References

¹ Chapman J, Jamil RT, Fleisher C, Torrico TJ. Borderline Personality Disorder. 2024 Apr 20. In: StatPearls [Internet]. Treasure Island (FL): StatPearls Publishing; 2024 Jan–. PMID: 28613633.

² Williams LM, Sidis A, Gordon E, Meares RA. “Missing links” in borderline personality disorder: loss of neural synchrony relates to lack of emotion regulation and impulse control. J Psychiatry Neurosci. 2006 May;31(3):181-8. PMID: 16699604; PMCID: PMC1449878.

³ Mainali P, Rai T, Rutkofsky IH. From Child Abuse to Developing Borderline Personality Disorder Into Adulthood: Exploring the Neuromorphological and Epigenetic Pathway. Cureus. 2020 Jul 30;12(7):e9474. doi: 10.7759/cureus.9474. PMID: 32874803; PMCID: PMC7455386.

⁴ Amad A, Ramoz N, Thomas P, Jardri R, Gorwood P. Genetics of borderline personality disorder: systematic review and proposal of an integrative model. Neurosci Biobehav Rev. 2014 Mar;40:6-19. doi: 10.1016/j.neubiorev.2014.01.003. Epub 2014 Jan 20. PMID: 24456942.

⁵ Shorey RC, Elmquist J, Wolford-Clevenger C, Gawrysiak MJ, Anderson S, Stuart GL. The relationship between dispositional mindfulness, borderline personality features, and suicidal ideation in a sample of women in residential substance use treatment. Psychiatry Res. 2016 Apr 30;238:122-128. doi: 10.1016/j.psychres.2016.02.040. Epub 2016 Feb 17. PMID: 27086221; PMCID: PMC4834542.

⁶ May JM, Richardi TM, Barth KS. Dialectical behavior therapy as treatment for borderline personality disorder. Ment Health Clin. 2016 Mar 8;6(2):62-67. doi: 10.9740/mhc.2016.03.62. PMID: 29955449; PMCID: PMC6007584.

⁷ Zaccaro A, Piarulli A, Laurino M, Garbella E, Menicucci D, Neri B, Gemignani A. How Breath-Control Can Change Your Life: A Systematic Review on Psycho-Physiological Correlates of Slow Breathing. Front Hum Neurosci. 2018 Sep 7;12:353. doi: 10.3389/fnhum.2018.00353. PMID: 30245619; PMCID: PMC6137615.

⁸ Krause-Utz A, Elzinga BM, Oei NY, Spinhoven P, Bohus M, Schmahl C. Susceptibility to distraction by social cues in borderline personality disorder. Psychopathology. 2014;47(3):148-57. doi: 10.1159/000351740. Epub 2013 Oct 26. PMID: 24192559.

⁹ Carabotti M, Scirocco A, Maselli MA, Severi C. The gut-brain axis: interactions between enteric microbiota, central and enteric nervous systems. Ann Gastroenterol. 2015 Apr-Jun;28(2):203-209. PMID: 25830558; PMCID: PMC4367209.

¹⁰ Knüppel A, Shipley MJ, Llewellyn CH, Brunner EJ. Sugar intake from sweet food and beverages, common mental disorder and depression: prospective findings from the Whitehall II study. Sci Rep. 2017 Jul 27;7(1):6287. doi: 10.1038/s41598-017-05649-7. PMID: 28751637; PMCID: PMC5532289.