It’s unlikely someone with borderline personality disorder (BPD) will suddenly show symptoms. Instead, a person is triggered into feeling the way they do. From an outside perspective, this can be confusing. And you may ask, “What triggers someone with borderline personality disorder?”

BPD triggers vary depending on several factors, including previous experiences and overall personality. However, some factors are consistent among everyone with BPD.

BPD Triggers Defined

Many use the term “trigger,” but its meaning remains misunderstood.

Simply put, a trigger refers to an event that causes BPD symptoms to be apparent. This event can be external (something you experience from the outside) or internal (something you experience from the inside, such as thought or memory). ¹

Therefore, triggers can develop by other people or the person who struggles with BPD. If you’re helping a loved one with BPD, it’s essential to recognize triggers to help them manage their condition.

External Triggers – BPD and Relationships

When it comes to external triggers, the most common occurs in interpersonal relationships. While you may guess such relationships are exclusively romantic, this can infer friendships and family.

Within interpersonal relationships, someone with BPD is most concerned with rejection, criticism, and abandonment (also referred to as rejection sensitivity). ² If these events play out, it puts the person with BPD at risk of:

• Anger
• Impulsive behavior
• Intense fear (anxiety)
• Self-harm
• Suicidal ideation

If you or someone you love struggles with suicide, help is available. In emergency cases, go to your nearest emergency room or call 911. In all other cases, you can reach out to the 988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline.

If you know someone with BPD, you feel confused as to how such events can play out. In many cases, a seemingly uninteresting event produces BPD triggers.

For example, you may receive a text from someone with BPD while busy. If you leave this text on read without a response, it could trigger BPD thoughts such as, “This person must be upset with me.”

While such events may seem insignificant to someone without BPD, to the person who struggles with it, it’s monumental. For that initial BPD thought can spiral into unforgiving patterns, such as, “This person must hate me,” or “I’ll never have a true friend.”

Internal Triggers – BPD and Cognition

Sometimes, BPD symptoms trigger internally and seemingly out of the blue. In most cases, these internal triggers are caused by previously experienced traumatic events, such as childhood abuse. ³

Trauma is a very complex matter in and of itself, with many factors determining what triggers post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD) attacks. ⁴

For example, if you experienced childhood abuse, chances are you’ll avoid going to where that abuse occurred. Or, if you were in a car crash that left you with PTSD, the color of the cars involved may trigger bad memories.

Still, while bad memories often trigger BPD, good memories can also have this effect. When a good memory appears, it can remind the person with BPD of happier times. Therefore, fueling certain aspects of their BPD, such as rejection sensitivity. ⁵

How to Cope with BPD Triggers?

If you struggle with BPD, there are ways to manage triggers before the onset of intense symptoms. While the best course of action remains treatment, some have incorporated the following steps to relieve triggers:

• Identify Triggers – You first want to understand where your triggers come from: what events, situations, thoughts, or memories trigger BPD symptoms. It can help to keep a journal.

• Avoid Triggers (if possible) – With triggers identified, you may be able to avoid certain ones. For example, if you find certain movies that trigger you, you can avoid those movies. Naturally, not all triggers can be avoided. In such cases:

• Manage Triggers – You must overcome triggers that can’t be avoided. Of course, this is easier said than done. But with the right therapy, medication, and support, it’s possible.

Final Word

Since BPD triggers are abundant, it’s important to identify them as soon as possible. You can tackle each with the right coping mechanisms, whether internal or external.

If you struggle with BPD, it’s best to seek out treatment while you manage triggers. This treatment will help to ease BPD symptoms and make the process more bearable.

References

¹ Riachi E, Holma J, Laitila A. Psychotherapists’ views on triggering factors for psychological disorders. Discov Psychol. 2022;2(1):44. doi: 10.1007/s44202-022-00058-y. Epub 2022 Dec 12. PMCID: PMC9744044.

² Foxhall M, Hamilton-Giachritsis C, Button K. The link between rejection sensitivity and borderline personality disorder: A systematic review and meta-analysis. Br J Clin Psychol. 2019 Sep;58(3):289-326. doi: 10.1111/bjc.12216. Epub 2019 Mar 21. PMID: 30900278.

³ Bozzatello P, Rocca P, Baldassarri L, Bosia M, Bellino S. The Role of Trauma in Early Onset Borderline Personality Disorder: A Biopsychosocial Perspective. Front Psychiatry. 2021 Sep 23;12:721361. doi: 10.3389/fpsyt.2021.721361. PMID: 34630181; PMCID: PMC8495240.

⁴ Mann SK, Marwaha R, Torrico TJ. Posttraumatic Stress Disorder. 2024 Feb 25. In: StatPearls [Internet]. Treasure Island (FL): StatPearls Publishing; 2024 Jan–. PMID: 32644555.

⁵ Bungert M, Liebke L, Thome J, Haeussler K, Bohus M, Lis S. Rejection sensitivity and symptom severity in patients with borderline personality disorder: effects of childhood maltreatment and self-esteem. Borderline Personal Disord Emot Dysregul. 2015 Mar 20;2:4. doi: 10.1186/s40479-015-0025-x. PMID: 26401307; PMCID: PMC4579499.