Men’s emotional health in relationships is often ignored. For this reason, many men struggle to meet their needs on their own. However, it doesn’t have to be this way – there are techniques to learn how to support a man emotionally. Here’s what you need to know.

What are the Five Emotional Needs of a Man?

Some women overlook men’s needs as nothing more than sex, sustenance, and sleep. However, men are emotional too – they simply handle their emotions differently than women.

More specifically, many men feel they need to handle their emotions on their own, without the support of their partner. ¹ And part of the reason men feel this way is because women often don’t understand how to support a man emotionally. Understandably, many women use tactics that would work on them.

However, men don’t operate the same way. So, if you want to meet the emotional needs in your relationship, consider the following:

1.) Encouragement

A lot is expected from men in our society. As such, they sometimes find ourselves down when they feel they aren’t doing enough. This has a lot to do with their instinct to be providers and protectors. ²

Some men simply need a dose of encouragement to give them that extra push. While most may assume this is with elements like career and finances, there are a range of encouragements men crave. These include the following:

• Appearance
• Educational level
• Intelligence
• Personality
• Place in life
• Sense of humor
• Sexual Health
• Spirituality
• Style

Every man needs a woman that will encourage him in all areas of life. However, they also need a woman who will provide them with a safe space when they lack the encouragement they need.

Many men don’t show their emotional vulnerabilities to a partner in fear that their significant other will think less of them and leave. Therefore, it’s in your interest to show that you are a man’s ride or die when they need it most.

Of course, you need to be consistent and genuine. If your man doesn’t bring about a desire for encouragement, you may not be with the right person.

2.) Support

Most men are working towards specific goals and dreams. If you’re dating a man with such aspirations, it’s guaranteed at the top of his desires is a woman who supports him.

This doesn’t mean you need to sacrifice your goals for his. It simply means you need to support him as he continues to take steps towards his goals.

Naturally, you need to be certain that you’re with a man you want to support. If you’re not, there are two negatives that can come from this:

1. You can end up in a marriage that leaves you dissatisfied and feeling the need to constantly attack your partner.
2. The man you’ve married will be in a constant battle to chase his goals and ensure peace in the home.

In fact, this brings us to an important point. While men require support from a women, they also need a sense of peace in the household. Without this peace, it becomes more difficult to keep a clear conscious on their goals and aspirations.

So, before settling with a man, it’s essential for you to ask yourself, “Do I see myself supporting this man? Do I agree with his drive and temperament? Will his goals provide me with what I also need out of life?”

3.) Friendship

In a relationship, men hope to find a woman who has similar interests to him. This can include sports, hobbies, or other activities (i.e. working out).

Of course, you need a natural connection in this regard. If either party is faking interest in a specific activity, the other will tell.

Furthermore, there will be some hobbies a man prefers to partake in with his boys. While this may not always directly involve you, if you have a genuine interest in his activities, it will only make him excited to share with you his stories.

On top of this, if you and your man continue to talk/participate in these activities together, it will only make the bond between you closer. If you find you and your partner don’t have any joint interests, it’s worth exploring hobbies to see what works for the both of you.

4.) Respect/Submission

Don’t let the chosen words above fool you. When referring to “submission,” we are not referring to silence and complacency. Instead, we are talking about a woman who will follow her man along his journey and provide the constructive criticism when necessary.

It’s natural for a man to want to lead a household. ³ The more leadership qualities your man has, the more he’s going to need those closest to him to follow. However, this isn’t a blind follow.

A strong man wants a woman to question his leadership every now and then. To bring up constructive points that can help him improve his leadership.

Naturally, there’s a way to go about this without disrepecting your man. You need to be able to offer opinions, challenges, and advise without showing disregard to his efforts. If your man is a strong leader, disrepect will only push him away from you and make him crave a woman who shows him the right support.

There isn’t a man out there that wants to consistently fight with his woman. Such conflict is deconstructive to his mission and will only lead to stress.

5.) Space

Men sometimes need time to themselves. They use this for several different reasons, including to:

• Participate in their hobbies.
• Plan and strategize their goals.
• Spend time with the boys.
• Wind down.

Get to know your man so you also know when he needs his alone time. Naturally, you want to ensure it isn’t excessive (all relationships require the right balance).

8 Ways to Support a Man Emotionally

With a clear understanding of what a man’s emotional needs are, you’ll benefit from emotional support examples. While there’s a step-by-step process to this, every woman will have her own way to provide a partner with mental health aid. Still, you’ll want to consider how you can go about the following steps:

1.) Listen to What Your Man Has to Say

If your man is willing to open up to you, it’s important to listen to what he has to say. He may not open up to everyone and his desire to form a stronger connection is likely something special to him.

Don’t allow yourself to get distracted and pay attention to what he’s trying to communicate. If you miss something important, this could signal to your man that you don’t care how he feels or aren’t interested in him.

Furthermore, it’s key not to dismiss or invalidate what he’s trying to say. As discussed, men experience emotions differently than women. Therefore, if he’s trying to express to you how he feels, you could have a window of insight into how processes what he experiences.

2.) Ask Your Man What He Needs From You

If your man is willing to open up, it’s important to figure out what he’s looking for from you. Naturally, this can be difficult for him to pinpoint in the moment. Therefore, you may want to approach with a general question, such as “Do you need comfort or solutions right now?”

Sometimes, men just need a space to vent. During these periods, they may not be in a position to receive (or appreciate) your advice. In fact, a 2018 study found that men usually want to be the ones to fix things for their partners. ² Again, this goes back to their desire to be natural leaders and protectors.

3.) Repeat Back What He Says to You

If you repeat what your man is trying to communicate, you show him that you’re actively listening. Furthermore, it shows you understand what your man is trying to tell you and that you validate his emotions.

So, what does this look like? It depends on the situation. It may mean you’re able to summarize what he’s just expressed to you, or it may mean you’re able to show the comfort he needs in that moment.

Naturally, your man may something you’re unsure of. In such cases, it’s okay to ask for clarification. This is another way to show your interest in what he has to say and that you also desire to be on the same page as him.

4.) Take His Problems Seriously

Many men don’t open up emotionally because they fear they won’t be taken seriously. If your partner is willing to open up to you, it’s important to respond with care, empathy, and compassion.

Sometimes, men turn to other men for emotional support. In these instances, they’re often met with “You’ll be alright. It’s not the end of the world.”

If your loved one struggles with something and seeks advice from you, it’s important to make them feel appreciated. Furthermore, it’s key they don’t feel like they’re being minimized or dismissed.

5.) Provide Him with Physical Affection

Feminine physical affection can go a long way, depending on the man. Naturally, some men may have a deep desire for it, whereas others tend to avoid it.

If you’re new to the relationship, or not sure how much physical affection your man craves, it’s important to feel him out. To find out what your man likes, it can help to directly communicate that you’d like to offer him some.

Physical connection can come in many shapes and sizes. Sometimes, it’s as simple as holding hands while he speaks to you. Other times, it may mean cuddling him up while he struggles.

6.) Offer Him Meaningful Gestures

If your man is having a bad day, it may be difficult for him to carry out his daily activities. In such circumstances, simply taking action to help him out can make all the difference.

So, what does this look like? It depends on the situation. For example, you may want to see if there are any household chores he’s expected to do that you could provide. Or, you can go out and get him his favorite food to cheer him up.

7.) Give Him Love

When faced with a challenging time, many men fear their partner will fall out of love (or lose interest) in them. Therefore, simply reminding your partner that you love him, you’re there for him, and you care about him can make all the difference.

Naturally, this isn’t going to be a solution to his problem. However, it will undoubtedly make him feel supported and less alone.

8.) Check In with Him Regularly

If your partner has opened up to you and you’ve practiced some of the above suggestions, it’s only natural they won’t find a solution over night. It will take time for your man to properly face his challenge and navigate its landscape.

As such, your man will appreciate if you take the time and effort to check in on him every now and then. This will show that you genuinely care about what he’s going through and that he does have your love and support.

Final Word

While men often handle emotions on their own terms, there’s no reason they can’t receive support from a loving partner. Knowing how to support a man emotionally can be tricky, especially if they aren’t keen to open up to you. However, there are strategies to take to ensure you provide your partner with the healthiest environment to face challenges in.

How to Support a Man Emotionally FAQs

References

¹ Chaplin TM. Gender and Emotion Expression: A Developmental Contextual Perspective. Emot Rev. 2015 Jan;7(1):14-21. doi: 10.1177/1754073914544408. PMID: 26089983; PMCID: PMC4469291.

² McKenzie SK, Collings S, Jenkin G, River J. Masculinity, Social Connectedness, and Mental Health: Men’s Diverse Patterns of Practice. Am J Mens Health. 2018 Sep;12(5):1247-1261. doi: 10.1177/1557988318772732. Epub 2018 Apr 28. PMID: 29708008; PMCID: PMC6142169.

³ Johnson AM, Vernon PA, McCarthy JM, Molson M, Harris JA, Jang KL. Nature vs nurture: are leaders born or made? A behavior genetic investigation of leadership style. Twin Res. 1998 Dec;1(4):216-23. doi: 10.1375/136905298320566195. PMID: 10100814.