If you want to improve your emotional intelligence, it’s in your interest to develop emotional regulation strategies. In short, these are techniques that allow you to better understand your emotional reactions and how to control them.

Naturally, these can be effective in improving EQ. However, beyond that, they’re also effective at making life’s challenges more bearable. So, that said, let’s first discuss the benefits of emotional regulation.

What is Emotional Regulation?

In short, emotional regulation is a complex process in which we experience, express, and exercise our emotions. Such activity can be conscious (i.e. you choose to calm yourself down) or unconscious (i.e. deep breaths automatically provide you with relief). ¹

The purpose of emotional regulation is to maintain a balance in your life. In other words, to ensure you’re not overwhelmed or disrupted by your emotions throughout daily tasks.

Positive emotional regulation allows us to have a more appropriate response to life’s challenges. It promotes more resilience and a healthier mentality. On the other hand, difficulties with emotional regulation can lead to an effected sense of wellbeing, strain on our relationships, and a difficulty to function in society.

Examples of Healthy Emotional Regulation

While emotional regulation is easily definable, you may ask yourself “What does it look like?” From our experiences, healthy emotional regulation may appear as the following:

• Disrupting the cycle of overthinking
• Reconnecting with the situation in a constructive way
• Stepping back from the intensity of emotions

To further these points, here are some examples of healthy emotional regulation:

• Shift Your Perspective – In challenging situations, focus on potential growth or hidden positives instead of jumping to worst-case scenarios.

• Embrace Mindfulness and Acceptance – During high-stress moments, ground yourself with mindfulness techniques to soothe your mind and restore balance.

• Pause and Step Away – Notice when emotions (i.e. anger) are intensifying and take a moment to remove yourself until you can respond calmly.

• Communicate Feelings Effectively – Share your emotions in a calm, respectful manner, avoiding suppression or overly aggressive reactions.

• Focus on Solutions – Direct your energy toward practical steps to resolve the underlying issue instead of dwelling on negative emotions.

4 Emotional Regulation Theories

While the importance of emotional regulation has always been given, new research indicates just how manageable such tactics are. More specifically, neuroplasticity research reveals that you can rewire your brain to develop coping mechanisms for strong emotions. ²

That said, here are some key theories on how to manage emotions effectively:

1.) The Dual-Process Theory

According to this theory, emotional regulation encompasses both automatic and intentional processes. Automatic regulation occurs instinctively, without conscious effort, while intentional regulation involves a deliberate effort to manage emotions. ³

2.) The Polyvagal Theory

The polyvagal theory emphasizes the role of the automatic nervous system—particularly, the vagus nerve—in regulating emotions. Moreover, the theory highlights that social engagement and self-soothing play essential roles in achieving and maintaining emotional balance. ⁴

3.) Gross’s Process Model of Emotion Regulation

According to this model, emotional regulation can be divided into five stages: ⁵

1. Situation selection
2. Situation modification
3. Attentional deployment
4. Cognitive change
5. Response modulation

Furthermore, it underscores that emotion regulation takes place at various stages throughout the emotion-generating process.

4.) The Cognitive-Behavioral Model

This approach emphasizes the significant role of thought patterns in emotional regulation. By shifting negative or distorted thoughts, you can, in turn, transform your emotional regulation.

What is the Neuroscience Behind Emotional Regulation?

The point of emotional regulation is in regards to how we process and manage emotions. However, self-regulation is determined in how we express these emotions—primarily through behaviors.

Most of our emotions are controlled by the amygdala—a section of the prefrontal cortex that process emotional stimuli and modulates emotional responses. ⁶ Through the amygdala’s process, you experience conscious regulation of emotional impulses. For example, your composure under stress is defined by this process.

On the other hand, self-regulation goes beyond emotions. It also includes cognitive and behavioral processes, both of which engage in a broader neural network.

What Factors Effect Emotional Regulation?

While emotional intelligence skills are accessible to everyone, there are several internal and external factors that play a role in how we process emotions. These include the following:

1.) Genetics

Research indicates that genetics influence our tendency toward emotional reactivity and regulation. Additionally, specific genetic variations can impact neurotransmitter systems (i.e. serotonin), which in turn affect mood and emotional stability. ⁷

2.) Physiological

The nervous system, especially the autonomic nervous system (ANS), plays a crucial role in emotional regulation. For example, higher heart rate variability is commonly linked to improved emotion regulation. Conversely, chronic stress and certain trauma types can disrupt the functioning of the ANS, thereby making it more challenging to manage emotions effectively. ⁸

3.) Developmental

Developmental factors, including brain development and childhood experiences, play a pivotal role in shaping our emotional regulation abilities. More specifically, childhood experiences of secure attachment contribute to the development of stronger emotional coping mechanisms. ⁹

Furthermore, brain development and plasticity significantly influence your capacity to regulate emotions.

4.) Contextual

Environmental stressors (i.e. financial insecurity, relationship struggles, and workplace challenges) can negatively impact emotional regulation. On the other hand, having supportive social networks and a stable environment can significantly enhance your capacity to manage emotions effectively. ¹⁰

5.) Mental Health

It’s well established that emotional regulation is crucial for maintaining mental health. However, it’s equally important to recognize that conditions (i.e. attention-deficit/hyperactivity disorder, autism spectrum disorder, and depression) can further complicate the process of regulating emotions. ¹¹

5 Evidence-Based Emotional Regulation Strategies

If you’re here to learn about emotional regulation techniques, the following have been researched and proven most effective:

1.) Psychoeducation

More specifically, you want to learn about the nature of emotions and how to develop self-awareness. The more aware (and comfortable) you are of your emotions, the better you’ll be able to react and regulate them. ¹²

2.) Cognitive Reappraisal

This is an emotional self-control tip where you actively seek to change your perspective on a situation. The goal is to shift the emotional impact this situation has on you. For example, you may start to look at failures as learning experiences. ¹³

3.) Mindfulness

It’s no secret that mindfulness for emotional regulation go hand-in-hand. There are several mindfulness practices to consider, such as meditation, yoga, nature walks, and journaling. We recommend you do a bit of research and experimentation into each of these to find out which is the most suitable for your needs.

4.) Acceptance and Commitment Therapy

Instead of trying to eliminate or avoid your emotions, this therapy teaches you how to accept them. As such, it will make it easier for you to develop strategies for handling stress. ¹⁴

5.) Dialectical Behavior Therapy

If you struggle with emotional dysregulation, this form of therapy may be most effective. It combines cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT) techniques with mindfulness to teach you how to regulate emotions, better stress and anxiety management, and other interpersonal skills. ¹⁵

Final Word

These emotional regulation strategies can help you improve your emotional awareness and make life’s challenges more bearable. Remember that you need to practice these techniques daily in order for them to be effective.

Emotional Regulation Strategies FAQs

References

¹ McRae K, Gross JJ. Emotion regulation. Emotion. 2020 Feb;20(1):1-9. doi: 10.1037/emo0000703. PMID: 31961170.

² Giuliani NR, Drabant EM, Bhatnagar R, Gross JJ. Emotion regulation and brain plasticity: expressive suppression use predicts anterior insula volume. Neuroimage. 2011 Sep 1;58(1):10-5. doi: 10.1016/j.neuroimage.2011.06.028. Epub 2011 Jun 16. PMID: 21704173; PMCID: PMC3161031.

³ Gyurak A, Gross JJ, Etkin A. Explicit and implicit emotion regulation: a dual-process framework. Cogn Emot. 2011 Apr;25(3):400-12. doi: 10.1080/02699931.2010.544160. PMID: 21432682; PMCID: PMC3280343.

⁴ Cherland E. The Polyvagal Theory: Neurophysiological Foundations of Emotions, Attachment, Communication, Self-Regulation. J Can Acad Child Adolesc Psychiatry. 2012 Nov;21(4):313–4. PMCID: PMC3490536.

⁵ Gross JJ. Emotion regulation: affective, cognitive, and social consequences. Psychophysiology. 2002 May;39(3):281-91. doi: 10.1017/s0048577201393198. PMID: 12212647.

⁶ Sergerie K, Chochol C, Armony JL. The role of the amygdala in emotional processing: a quantitative meta-analysis of functional neuroimaging studies. Neurosci Biobehav Rev. 2008;32(4):811-30. doi: 10.1016/j.neubiorev.2007.12.002. Epub 2008 Jan 17. PMID: 18316124.

⁷ Hawn SE, Overstreet C, Stewart KE, Amstadter AB. Recent advances in the genetics of emotion regulation: a review. Curr Opin Psychol. 2015 Jun;3:108-116. doi: 10.1016/j.copsyc.2014.12.014. Epub 2014 Dec 20. PMID: 27588302; PMCID: PMC5004926.

⁸ Morris SSJ, Musser ED, Tenenbaum RB, Ward AR, Martinez J, Raiker JS, Coles EK, Riopelle C. Emotion Regulation via the Autonomic Nervous System in Children with Attention-Deficit/Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD): Replication and Extension. J Abnorm Child Psychol. 2020 Mar;48(3):361-373. doi: 10.1007/s10802-019-00593-8. PMID: 31808007; PMCID: PMC7720673.

⁹ Cross D, Fani N, Powers A, Bradley B. Neurobiological Development in the Context of Childhood Trauma. Clin Psychol (New York). 2017 Jun;24(2):111-124. doi: 10.1111/cpsp.12198. Epub 2017 May 20. PMID: 30906116; PMCID: PMC6428430.

¹⁰ Wong CSM, Chan WC, Lo KWY, Chen EYH, Lam LCW. Environmental stress and emotional reactivity: an exploratory experience sampling method study. Front Psychiatry. 2024 Apr 26;15:1375735. doi: 10.3389/fpsyt.2024.1375735. PMID: 38774437; PMCID: PMC11106578.

¹¹ Menefee DS, Ledoux T, Johnston CA. The Importance of Emotional Regulation in Mental Health. Am J Lifestyle Med. 2022 Jan 12;16(1):28-31. doi: 10.1177/15598276211049771. PMID: 35185423; PMCID: PMC8848120.

¹² Iwakabe S, Nakamura K, Thoma NC. Enhancing emotion regulation. Psychother Res. 2023 Sep;33(7):918-945. doi: 10.1080/10503307.2023.2183155. Epub 2023 Mar 21. PMID: 36943017.

¹³ Troy AS, Shallcross AJ, Brunner A, Friedman R, Jones MC. Cognitive reappraisal and acceptance: Effects on emotion, physiology, and perceived cognitive costs. Emotion. 2018 Feb;18(1):58-74. doi: 10.1037/emo0000371. Epub 2017 Nov 20. PMID: 29154585; PMCID: PMC6188704.

¹⁴ Blackledge JT, Hayes SC. Emotion regulation in acceptance and commitment therapy. J Clin Psychol. 2001 Feb;57(2):243-55. doi: 10.1002/1097-4679(200102)57:2<243::aid-jclp9>3.0.co;2-x. PMID: 11180150.

¹⁵ Gupta A, Kashyap A, Sidana A. Dialectical Behavior Therapy in Emotion Dysregulation – Report of Two Cases. Indian J Psychol Med. 2019 Nov 11;41(6):578-581. doi: 10.4103/IJPSYM.IJPSYM_352_19. PMID: 31772446; PMCID: PMC6875843.