Social expectations are defined as “implicit rules that govern one’s reactions and beliefs in a way that is deemed acceptable by society.”

For a moment, consider the many roles you play. One moment, you’re somebody’s sibling. The next, you’re someone’s best friend. Then you go to bed next to someone who refers to you as the love of their life.

You’ve adapted yourself to each of these roles. And as you go about your day-to-day life, you behave in a certain manner to live up to these roles.

This behavior is a product of social normality. The idea is that our conduct must be certain to appear conventional. ¹

It’s fair to say many of us struggle with the expectations of social normality. Our brains simply aren’t wired to always appear conventional. Some of us feel an overabundance of fear. Some go through manic episodes we have no control over. Yet, we continue to try to live by these expectations.

What Are Social Norms?

A social norm is an expectation from an unwritten and undisclosed rule about how you’re supposed to behave. It can be as simple as keeping your mouth closed when you eat. Or, as complicated as promptly completing all your homework assignments.

If you don’t behave under these norms, people may find it difficult to understand you. Furthermore, you may not accepted in social groups and events.

Why is this? The simple explanation is due to these social norms, people will have a clearer comprehension of who you are and predict your manner of conduct. ² For example, a woman dating a socially normal man already knows he’ll pay for dinner on their first date.

People feel comfortable knowing they can understand and predict even a complete stranger. This makes these social norms very powerful; they make other people comfortable.

The Complexity of Social Norms

Still, social norms aren’t always the same. For example, when you go to your grandmother’s house, your conduct will differ from if you were with your friends.

Social norms vary depending on the group you find yourself in. ³ In other words, the type of people you surround yourself with has major implications on your behaviors.

Yet, even though behaviors can vary, they still stick to a set of unwritten rules. When you go from one social group to another, your conduct changes per your circumstance.

This is the way our society is governed. ⁴ Without social norms, there would be chaos trying to navigate so many different people. Therefore, to some extent, social norms are necessary.

As such, obliging to social normality is a means of looking out for yourself.

Social Norms and Mental Health

When it comes to mental health conditions, there remains a lot of stigma. And this is prominently due to social norms. To some degree, our society still promotes the following: ⁵

• Generalizations that friends, co-workers, and family members should look down upon those who face mental illness
• Idea that the mentally ill aren’t as capable of marriage or employment
• Perceptions of mental disorders being dangerous
• That mental illness is an excuse

Of course, not everyone with a mental disorder receives this stigma. Furthermore, it should be granted that society has been working towards diminishing stigma.

Still, the biggest reason stigma continues is because mental health conditions go against social normality. ⁶ In fact, social normality is believed to be part of the reason mental illness exists in the first place.

Mental Health as an Indirect Construction

In his essay Mental Disorder and the Indirect Construction of Social Facts, Raphael van Riel said, “It is a widely shared assumption among psychiatrists and philosophers of psychiatry alike that the social-cultural environment in some sense or another shapes mental disorders, a claim that, today, also objectivists about mental disorder happily admit.”

To get a clearer sense of how this might be, let’s look at some key symptoms of depression:

• Continuous feelings of sadness, emptiness, and anxiousness
• Decreased energy
• Difficulty concentrating
• Feelings of guilt, hopelessness, and worthlessness

Everyone is bound to experience some degree of the above symptoms. For example, if you lose a job, you may feel hopeless. If you’re rejected by a love interest, you might feel worthless. If you find out your mother died, it’s natural to lose some energy.

Life has its ways of slowing down. Yet, most people find a way of picking their life back up again. People with depression (or major depressive disorder), on the other hand, have persistent negative feelings. So much so that the brain physically changes. ⁷

Ultimately, this brain change lacks social normality. Due to this, people with depression are bound to be in a cycle where they’re trying to figure out a society that doesn’t accept them.

What Can We Do?

As Riel mentions in his essay, “Recent data suggests that there is cultural variation among the ways in which people experience their conditions, and that cultural background has an impact on how clinicians weigh the relevance of symptoms in the diagnostic process.”

We must end the stigma towards mental health simply so everyone has an opportunity in this world. To move forward as a society, we must identify mental health as a social norm. If we continue to look at it as something abnormal, everyone who struggles with mental illness is pushed further and further away from society.

References

¹ Kalkstein DA, Hook CJ, Hard BM, Walton GM. Social norms govern what behaviors come to mind-And what do not. J Pers Soc Psychol. 2023 Jun;124(6):1203-1229. doi: 10.1037/pspi0000412. Epub 2022 Nov 17. PMID: 36395038.

² Gollwitzer A, Martel C, Heinecke A, Bargh JA. Deviancy Aversion and Social Norms. Pers Soc Psychol Bull. 2024 Apr;50(4):516-532. doi: 10.1177/01461672221131378. Epub 2022 Dec 10. PMID: 36495158; PMCID: PMC10903140.

³ Rabb N, Bowers J, Glick D, Wilson KH, Yokum D. The influence of social norms varies with “others” groups: Evidence from COVID-19 vaccination intentions. Proc Natl Acad Sci U S A. 2022 Jul 19;119(29):e2118770119. doi: 10.1073/pnas.2118770119. Epub 2022 Jul 11. PMID: 35858296; PMCID: PMC9303870.

⁴ Misyak JB, Melkonyan T, Zeitoun H, Chater N. Unwritten rules: virtual bargaining underpins social interaction, culture, and society. Trends Cogn Sci. 2014 Oct;18(10):512-9. doi: 10.1016/j.tics.2014.05.010. Epub 2014 Jul 26. PMID: 25073460.

⁵ Norman RM, Sorrentino RM, Windell D, Manchanda R. The role of perceived norms in the stigmatization of mental illness. Soc Psychiatry Psychiatr Epidemiol. 2008 Nov;43(11):851-9. doi: 10.1007/s00127-008-0375-4. Epub 2008 Jun 23. PMID: 18575793.

⁶ Vijayalakshmi P, Gandhi S, Sai Nikhil Reddy S, Palaniappan M, Badamath S. Violence Against Women with Mental Illness and Social Norms and Beliefs: Nursing Professional Perspective. Community Ment Health J. 2021 Feb;57(2):212-218. doi: 10.1007/s10597-020-00635-2. Epub 2020 May 25. PMID: 32448934.

⁷ Trifu SC, Trifu AC, Aluaş E, Tătaru MA, Costea RV. Brain changes in depression. Rom J Morphol Embryol. 2020 Apr-Jun;61(2):361-370. doi: 10.47162/RJME.61.2.06. PMID: 33544788; PMCID: PMC7864313.